BEST BARS IN AUSTIN

8/3/19

 

 One of my favorite things about new bars is the exponentially high number of attractive people they bring. Smoking hot women show up and then everyone else tags along. I mean... why wouldn’t they?
 

 You may remember T-Squared as Academia, who’s theme was a high-end Ivy League bar, on 4th street. I get there early Saturday afternoon and start drinking. The bartender is nice, a cool couple swings by, and we bullshit. A cook comes out of the kitchen and starts talking about food like he knows what he’s doing. At some point, I realize I'm not tasting the alcohol in my drinks.

 

 The bartender has these deep brown eyes, doesn’t talk much and says she can’t drink alcohol. I should have guessed she’s serving me subtly, strong drinks. Then she gives me a salad they’re working on (I'm told the food here is “amazing”) and I end up telling a buddy about it the next day. I don’t usually remember salads.
 

 Not having figured out what the bartender is doing with the drinks, I order a double before hitting the road. My uber shows up and it’s a cool girl in an SUV playing old school hip hop. She had Whodini on. I’m not kidding.
 

 We get to this bar called Velouria and it is cool. All the sudden I realize I’m hammered. For some reason when I'm drinking heavily, I hear Samuel L. in my head. When I hit the bar, I hear: "Get your drinks (Ringo). But when you do it: Do it cool."
 

 As luck would have it, there’s only one seat open at the bar and it’s next to this incredible looking girl. In fact, there are hot girls all over the place. Sometimes I’m tempted to say: "Look I know the rest of the year you’re locked away in some penthouse, but Austin does more than new bars." Of course they’re looking over the city, wearing all black (cause they’re in mourning)...waiting for the next bar opening.
 

 I use my best pick up line: “Hey, what are you doing?" She looks at me and a smile comes over her face like she’s trying not to laugh (I get this a lot). We talk until her boyfriend shows up. I don’t know how she makes it into this story, but I remember the people behind the bar being ultra cool (she was too). They didn’t even know I have a website and they just rocked. I even try a shot of Sotol which is pretty f’ing good. Thank god for Samuel L. To be continued...

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Stay weedy,

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Mr. Weedy

Weedybars.com